I wrote this on the first day of December. I wanted to publish it as is, rather than editing it due to the delay in posting. Sorry about that, by the way; my VPN has been on the fritz lately. Enjoy!
* * *
Don’t let this title alarm you. I’m not looking to have
an evolution discussion, especially not here on my Chinablog (and besides, Bill
Nye the Science Guy said it best). Instead, I want to talk about my own version
of creationism…
Still. Not evolution. Hopefully this blog will read
like a Chicken Soup for the Creator’s Soul.
Maybe not? I cannot make that kind of promise.
However, I can say that after this month of November that I am pretty sure I
have the soul of a creator. As I am sure most have noticed, the month of
November has been a lengthy silence. First allow me to explain…
The explanation I gave to most people who asked was
that the month ended up being a perfect storm of busy (but then I needed a
different analogy after Sandy hit). I made the mistake giving all of my midterm
tests during the same week, and that included a ridiculous amount of writings
and papers. This left me with stacks on stacks on stacks of things to mark on
my coffee table, and I had to find time to do all of it during my already busy
schedule. Unfortunately, this Herculean amount of work was only the beginning.
November also marked the once-in-a-decade transition of the Chinese government (obligatory Communist Party joke here), which meant
the government was cracking down on the internet. Censorship and blackouts of
various websites, including Google, were at an all-time high leading up to and
during this Communistic changing of the guard with Chinese characteristics.
After giving up on “perfect storm” analogies, I
switched to boxing. However, it was so much more than just a one-two punch. It
was more like a one-two-three-four rapid-fire jab to my midsection. On top of
the grading, and the internet lockdown, November also brought me a pretty rough
bout of depression. I was stuck in a slump, a routine of sadness that I
couldn’t seem to break (in fact, my last post was probably a big indicator of
this).
But now it’s December, and I am dancing in the light
at the end of the tunnel. Now through this festive time, I’ve realised, as I
mentioned above, I am definitely a creative-type. I need to be creating things.
I find joy in creation, and part of my depression for the last month has probably
been the lack of writing, not creating anything for people to enjoy. It is the
chicken soup for my soul.
Part of this discovery has come via my friends.
Enjoying and appreciating the creations of my friends has helped me through my
tough time, and motivated me to keep at it. A couple weeks back, another
Lanzhou volunteer posted a video on facebook of some music he had composed. If
you follow the link, you can read in his description, where he talks about how
great it felt to create music again.
While I’m creating this post, hopefully creating some
buzz and extra traffic for my friends’ creations, there are a few other people
I’d like to plug, one of which is an interesting and insightful blog written by
another PCV living down in Guizhou. He’s a much better writer than I, and is
far more thoughtful and articulate about matters such as the Chinese economy.
Another PCV who creates a lot is my friend Amanda.
She’s the nearest volunteer to me in Lanzhou, and I’ve referenced her often
here. Her passion for creation centres on food. In fact, my last blog about
food was a cooking adventure with her. She is constantly cooking and writing,
and in the last month has uploaded her posts corresponding to my angst-ridden
writing about cooking.
I also take a great delight in creating food (although
I do it with much less skill and finesse). I proved that last week for
Thanksgiving. In my experience as a Peace Corps volunteer, Turkey Day has been
the most meaningful holiday I’ve celebrated abroad. I think part of it has to
do with its uniquely American origin. Last year, we had a wonderful potluck
dinner. This year, it was even better. I baked another pie, with the help of my
friend Courtney. Plus, I tracked down this great recipe for a sweet potato and
lentil stew. Everyone who tried the stew was incredibly complimentary, so I’d
recommend checking out that link and trying to cook it for yourself.
Looking back at the photos from the day that appeared
on facebook created such a great sense of love. I spent most of the day telling
people I was thankful for their friendship, and in hindsight, I was far more
genuine than my wine-fueled toasts may have come across. It made me regret
what I wrote last month. So to all my friends who read this, please know I’m
thankful for you. In addition, I’m thankful for the people who wrote me in my
long absence. I received some emails inquiring about my health, people
concerned that I hadn’t written anything in a while.
I am thankful for my ability to create. To write. To
use this as an outlet for my thoughts, my stories, and whatever else I can
commit to writing.
Speaking of committing to writing, I realised the other day that I have made quite a few writing
commitments I have yet to fulfill. I still have some great stories from my summer vacation to tell, in addition to a month’s worth of BlogThings posts to
catch up on.
I want to end this post reaffirming my commitment to
create—not necessarily to people who read this (although, I am grateful), but
to myself. I need to create. My philosophy of creationism is for my own mental
health.
Cheers to December, and what it may bring…
No comments:
Post a Comment